A few years ago I was beginning to really look at my life, my intentions and how I was making choices to manifest those intentions. Some desires are acquired concretely, for example, if one wants a new car, they would likely work, save their money, then purchase the car. I began to think about the things that mattered most to me, concepts as opposed to items (because to be honest, I like nice things, but ‘things’ don’t have my heart). When I began thinking about what I truly wanted in my life, the following came to mind: love, beauty, adventure, and FREEDOM. I would say freedom is my top value because it encompasses so much. I want freedom to travel, which means the financial and career freedom to do so. I want freedom spiritually, emotionally, and intellectually. Intellectual freedom I believe comes with education which is why I will be a life-long learner. So this break up happened and my educational goals will not be met in Tahoe; nor do I have a desire to live in the cold for another winter. Here I was, free to choose whatever I wanted. I do not have a spouse or children to consider, and it is early enough in my life that I can afford to start over one more time. Florida seemed like the best choice because I have lived there before, it’s the climate I like, and I have loving friends there.
Then I went to Santa Monica.
The gorgeous Pacific Ocean kisses the soft sandy beaches, the pier dancing with colorful vibrance. People play together on circus rings, they test their flexibility and strength doing acrobatics. The mountains are just off in the distance, reminding me I can have my cake and eat it, too (because what’s the point of having cake if you can’t eat it?). As I walked my dog down the promenade, we were entertained by the dancers, singers, artists and the diversity. My pup was welcomed with water bowls at many shops down Main Street and people greeted us with a smile and a hello (and many had even more to say than that!). I tasted delicious coffee brewed to perfection, the way only the west coast knows how. I drank rich red wine from Napa Valley, breathing in the ocean air. The humidity nourished my skin with gentleness, and there were just enough palm trees to make me feel at home.
I tried so hard to resist, but the beauty of Southern California was too much for me. A feeling of odd guilt settled in as I contemplated changing my mind. I don’t know why I feel the need to get permission from others for my own life; I don’t, is what I finally decided. I was (of course) encouraged to make the move by the wonderful supportive people in my life. Being on the west coast will make my family so much more accessible in Oregon, which is a big plus… and Southern California will just give my brother more road to take his motorhome down (westbound and down!)! :)
So a new plan is in motion… I am waiting for it to fully sink in that I will be living just miles from the beautiful Pacific. I had cast out into the universe my desire for freedom and it responded with the most beautiful (and slightly overwhelming) freedom I could ask for. And the freedom will continue on in my life in LA. :) Can’t wait to see what the adventure has in store!